What Have You Lost? Journal Quilt

Sister

You will arrive

at a point
when you realize
that you have been missing
from most of your life ...

You will search ...

and you will find
pieces that fit together
and pieces
that aren't there

someone took them from you
without the permission
you never knew you had

you will glue the pieces together
and the cracks will leak
you will break open
fall apart
and I will help you
find you

we will wait till May
and dig a hole together
bury the pieces you have
and don't have

and I will lie
next to you
on the ground
until you grow

--Andy Young, in What Have You Lost

Andy Young (She's a woman--It just didn't work in my mind when I thought of this poem written by a man.) wrote this poem called "Sister." It appeared in an anthology edited by Naomi Shihab Nye called, What Have You Lost?

This poem hit me like a ton of bricks when I first read it, and I knew that one day, I would spell it out in fiber and stitch. My friend Sandy was this kind of Sister to me. How many days did we spend sitting out on the dock at Cherokee Marsh .. laughing, walking, canoeing, supping, crying ... quiet times, too, just being together.

She helped me pick up the pieces after many a broken heart. She helped me plant them, and stayed right by my side to watch them grow into something strong and beautiful. She taught me to stand up for myself. She made me understand and believe that I was a worthy person, not a doormatt.

Sandy died unexpectedly 2 months before my son was born. It's been 8 years now, and I still miss her ... I am the person I am today because I knew Sandy. I have not forgotten you, my Friend. Now it's my turn to help someone else pick up the pieces ...

Detail of the shattered pieces at the root of the tree.

The page from my notebook, holding the idea until I could make it real ...

Someone recently gave me a set of "trade blocks" (You make a set of blocks along with everyone else in your group. Then you trade so everyone has a complete set - one of everyone else's blocks.) One of the blocks had this green and blue tree painted on it. It looked a lot like the trees I tend to draw ... It was a kick-start to make this project happen.

Techniques : It's a small journal quilt. Journal Quilts are not necessarily meant to be beautiful. They are usually small works (9x11 inches, or so) to try out a new technique, or in this case, work out a spiritual quandry. This one is in the spirit of the Diary Quilts by Susan "Lucky" Shie.

I put excerpts from Andy Young's "Sister" poem in the background.
Sandy's words of wisdom over the years are in the branches of the tree.
I added the ground and the shattered soul pieces in the roots of the tree.
In that womb of earth, the pieces are safe enough, warm enough, close enough to pull together and regenrate into something new. Stronger. Self-assured.

Sandy's Promise : Kaliedescope Quilt is Finished!

After nearly 1 year in the making, Sandy's Promise is finally finished!

In November 2006, I look a class from our local quilt shop (Quilt Essentials) with Susie Kubatzki. The pattern comes from Bethany Reynolds' book Magic Stack 'n Whack Quilts (Half-Square Triangle Magic ((or Pinwheel Stars)) from Chapter 3).

What's Stack 'N Whack? explained by the originator, Bethany Reynolds.

I remember going to Borders Book Store to drool over this book when I still lived in Madison more than 10 years ago--long before I became a quilter. Now I have my own copy ... :-)

In a nutshell, all the flower blocks in the middle are made from the border fabric.

That's what is so appealing to me about this technique : every block is different, and every block fits the overall color scheme fir the entire quilt. When I was piecing the flower/stars, I would stay up late into the night because I wanted to see how the next one would turn out. It was always a surprise.

I bought the fabric at Cutting Edge Quilts in Antigo, WI. The owner, Marla, has a wonderful eye for color. And she has the best selection of batiks I've seen in Wisconsin ...

The Specifics
* This quilt is machine-pieced and machine-quilted by me.

* I used Marti Michell's Machine Quilting in Sections technique. It does make quilting a bed-size quilt more manageable than trying to wrestle with the entire quilt at my little machine. I do have 2 lumpy seams at the back where the 6 layers (top, batt, and backing) come together. It works--still, I think this will be the last large quilt I try to do myself on a standard home sewing machine. I want a LONG-ARM with a frame!

Where does the title come from?
My close friend, Sandy died unexpectedly 2 months before my son was born in 2001. I had just visited her the weekend before ... I don't think any of us saw it coming.
About 6 months later, I did a meditation to talk with her, to find out if she was all right and to say, "Good bye." When she met me in this "dream," she gave me the gift of a flower--a water lily. She said, "For your future, Kid!"
When I started putting this quilt together, the flowers reminded me of the water lily Sandy gave me that summer's day. And now, I know that I can talk to her anytime I want ... Those who loved us in life, love us still after death.

"The day will come when it is more painful to stay tightly closed in a bud than to bloom." --Anais Nin.

These colors are not at all "Sandy." She was bright and flashy and sparkly and loud. Before I knew her, she was an exotic dancer ... but she couldn't wear the high heels anymore, so she had to make a career change. She became a naturalist, learning about ecology and giving nature tours--she loved the outdoors. Read about a Fall Day in the Baraboo Hills with Sandy. No--these are really MY colors. This quilt is a gift to myself--with Sandy's continued blessing and encouragement.

Quilting
For the quilting, I made several good-old-fashioned (mostly) cardboard templates.


I traced these shapes onto the quilt with a purple MarkBGone pen. This was problematic because the ink was already disappearing in our humid summers before I even had the whole section marked. So I spent a lot of time re-marking what I had already marked. Now I use the blue MarkBGone that stays until I remove it with H2O and a damp cloth.

A Note of Caution : Anytime you use the disappearing ink pens, follow the manufacturer's directions for removing the ink completely. You really don't want it to re-appear in 15 years as a brown streaks--not after you've done all that hard work. That would be heart-breaking! As soon as this quilt was complete, I threw it in the washing-machine with Orvus Quilt soap. This gave it a thorough soak to remove any residual MarkBGone ink. It also gives it that great antiquey well-used look that I was after ...

It took a while to decide how to quilt the pinwheels. I didn't want the stitching to take away from the kaleidescope flowers. In the end, I went with a doughnut : 2 circles.

For the doughnut, I cut out the stencils in freezer paper and pinned these to each block. Instead of marking these, I used the paper stencil doughnut as a stitching guide. This worked remarkably well to keep the circles round and even. The paper is easy to fold for registration marks that can be lined up with the respective seam lines--again to keep things straight and even.

Batting
Hobbs Heirloom Premium 80/20 Cotton / Poly Blend is my current favorite batting. I like the way it gives an old-timey "well-used look without the cotton squashing down. I wanted the puckers! It also stays light and flexible.

Threads
For Piecing : Coats & Clark Star Piecing Thread in cream
For Quilting : Sulky Blendables 30-wt (pastel pink, yellow, green) on flowers and border
Superior Rainbows 40-wt Poly (purple-pink-green) on sashing
For Bobbin : Superior Bottom Line - cream colored. (I had to tear off the cardboard bobbin top as it causes problems for my machine. However, it is so well-wound that it holds it shape nicely without the carboard bobbin.) I like Bottom Line because, you notice the quilting more than the thread.