I finished this quilt shortly after Christmas. It's always a good time to work on quilting a quilt because the house is cold and I don't mind wrestling a quilt sandwich to get it sewn up. Working under a quilt this time of year has it's advantages! I did a grid to follow the colored patched along the diagonals as well as the horizontals. I started with a variegated purple, but decided that was too dark, and shifted to a varigated blue that seemed to work better on the white parts.
This photo is more true to the actual colors.
I call this one Twilight not just for the purples and blues indicative of blue hour. It has another meaning related to end-of-life ... The colored blocks are made from scraps left over from the giant quilt made to commemorate my parent's 50th wedding anniversary in 2019. In 2020, my mom's health was deteriorating, and I was called to take care of her at home in her last 2 weeks after a fall that rendered her bed-ridden. She was pretty out-of-it in those last days ... We had to keep an eye on her. Somehow she knew if I left the room briefly to go to the bathroom, or brush my teeth, she would try to get up and out of her hospital bed -- which only meant she slumped to the floor because she was too weak to stand. We had to shift her position every few hours to prevent bed sores / pressure injuries. She wasn't eating or drinking, but I still had to clean her mouth with a little foam stick in water ... Hospice came in and did other cares for her, for which we were very grateful. I had been a Hospice Volunteer for 10 years and knew the value of their services. Now I was experiencing Hospice from the family caregiver side.
I am not cut out for nursing / caregiving. I know this -- That's why
I'm in the medical library and not a nurse! Still I was glad to take
care of my mom in her last days. But it was hard. Now I understand the need for caregiver respite.
At the time, my Dad was trying to finish planting his latest crop of Christmas trees. There is a short window to plant before it gets too hot and the seedlings will die ... He was going through his own grief at losing his long-time partner, of course. But he was outside doing things, and being productive. I was trapped in the house with my dying mother ... After a week of no breaks in caregiving and sleep deprivation, I finally set down my foot and told my Dad and brother that I would be off duty for a few hours each evening, when they would be in charge of taking care of Ma. During that time, I retreated to my mom's sewing room to work on this Twilight Quilt. That was enough of a break for me to rest and restore myself to take care of her again that night and the next day. And it was spending time in her old creative space, more like we used to do ...
There was a period of time in the last 5 years where I had to put this quilt top away. It was hard to look at due to the grief built into it from that time. But I seem to have worked through that, and I like it again. These are some of my favorite colors after all. I can remember the good times sewing and laughing with my mom, and not so much her failing health and the end times in her last 2 weeks. Now it brings comfort, rather than grief and distress.
Previous Posts about this Quilt:
1 comment:
It's beautiful and I understand that part of you that made it difficult to get it out and finish it up. I have a couple of wall quilts I made shortly after my friend Judi died that were inspired by her long struggle. She's the one I supported for the 3 months she was receiving treatment at Mayo Clinic so I also got that first hand caregiver overload experience that people don't get unless they go through it. I love them, they are beautiful but I simply can't live with them on my walls. Maybe some day , , ,
Sending hugs and the wish for the good memories to surpass the difficult ones as you go into the new year.
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